Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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