Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
