some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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