Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Two words: nipple clamps
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