his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can I color on your dick again?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
