Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
