There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I didn't notice because vodka
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
