So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
