Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
