I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
