If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Did I show you my penis last night?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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