So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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