Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
