You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
