so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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