weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
