first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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