Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
