No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
