We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
