The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
