Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
