she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
porn star boner night. come get it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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