I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
