Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Buhtt sex?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
