I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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