can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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