Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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