I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
