Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
