I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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