actually, I'm a sock model
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
