I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
