Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've blown a few things in my day
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
