So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
should my penis look like a turkey
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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