so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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