Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
