Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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