The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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