Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
