batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
