you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
