My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
