You just made me feel so damn special
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize