it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Help. Why am I so naked?
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