If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
