Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
