Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
