i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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