her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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