i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
