My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
