Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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